The journey's of a schizophrenic
by legitpanda89
Summary: he's not sure, it might be psychosis, or Schizophrenia, its not important though, because, all that matters is that they all die, every. last. one. of. them. i don't own MLP, or any songs I use. this story will get graphic at times, & it's a different kind of humor than you guys are used to probably. moral of the story, not for the weak of heart. R&R and i need OC'S, PM for a slot.
1. Chapter 1

"**Schizophrenic? Maybe. Psychosis? Possibly. Maybe I'm just crazy. But no matter the case, I'm still in the middle of this session." I thought to myself as I walked toward the lone pony down the road. But at the moment I almost had it, they turned around with surprising speed. But lucky for me, I'm faster. The pony looks around; trying to find the source of the hoof steps he swore he heard. **

"**Must have been my imagination," the pony murmured to himself. I chuckle quietly, knowing that in around 4 minutes he's gonna wish it was just his imagination.**

**I slowly walk behind him, making sure not to make a sound; I reach up and with a single fluid motion, put him a sleeper hold. He struggles for a minute; his kicks become less frequent, until they stop all together. **

**Now this is the worst part, getting the body out without getting caught. Although I could use my magic to carry & cloak him, there's the chance he'll wake up. I don't let my fears get in my way though, as I carry the unconscious body out of the street.**

** WWWWWWWW**

**As I prepare my 'tools," I hear some rustling in the room next door.**

"**Good, he's awake." I think out loud.**

"**Wha... Who… who's there? Where am I? why am I chained up? Let me out!" he starts to increase his voice volume.**

"**it's fine if you scream by the way, no one can hear you," I inform him.**

"**Help, help me! Someone, please anybody!" he screams, very loud if I may say.**

"**I'll explain again, you can scream all you want no one can hear you, here ill even scream with you. AHHHH HELP IM GONNA KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY UNLESS SOMEONE HELPS HIM!" I can't help but laugh as the look of realization appears on his face.**

**Slowly he looks at me and, with a surprising amount of calm, "I'm not getting out of here, am I?"**

**With the most hysterical, horrifying laugh in all of equestria, I look him dead in the eyes and, with a scalpel in one hand, and a hammer in the other, exclaim, "Nope, this is gonna be great,"**

**I get to work with that scalpel, as I slowly start my process of torture execution, I hum a song I made up a few days ago; **

I see you (psst, hahaha over here)  
Looking at me  
Looking at me, so I ask

Am I a psycho? Am I a psycho?  
Yeah I'm a psycho, I guess I'm a psycho

You're crazy, I like you, but you're crazy, my tours paid me  
So I used that dough to allure ladies, to manure bathe me  
Never that, my mind's for sure shady  
Pure Hades, Rev X Steady couldn't endure to save me  
Why did I let this stripper burn me on the arm with a cigarette  
In the same spot 10 times in a row when I felt that burn  
I palm the clitoris, I'mm'a get her wet  
Sorry to get carried away  
I feel stupid cause I ain't did her yet  
Maybe she never let a fine nigga stare at her breasts  
I get vexed but I ain't bit her neck  
Open! I try to contain it but that dame thang's soaking  
Alter ego say "Why you let them gang bang folk in?"  
Strange Lane hopin' I can maintain coping  
But ain't nobody talkin when the insane mane spoken  
I like fire on my skin, blood on my draws  
From up on her walls, I'm suffering, I'm stuck in her claws  
Stuffed in her jaws, huffin' and puffin', hollering, I'm a dog  
Afterwards, I like really hot scalding water on my balls

Mom? Dad? I'm no longer the boy you're used to seein'  
I've changed a lot, plus I've grown to hate every human being  
My mood swings have now turned my dreams into gruesome scenes  
Now I'm doing things I don't normally do  
When illusion seem to be the only pleasures I can gain  
Heck, if I was sane I would've put down the mic and say "fuck it"  
I'll never rise to fame but with the wicked wreckage I contain  
I could probably jeopardize your name  
No lovey-dovey let's ignite the flame if you're lucky you'll survive the pain  
Sorry that ain't very merry to say why is this game so scary to play?  
Well let me think, cause every day my balls are getting too hairy to shave  
Pause a minute, I'm stressin' again if I go to hell, than heaven's to blame  
I don't mean to come off crazy but you mothafuckas  
Seem to think that I'm hella deranged  
When I was seven years old, I fell on my head and I severed my brain  
If you think I'm lying then ask my mama nigga she'll go tell you the same  
Should I be ashamed?No, I'm living my life so ghetto fabulous  
Before you get bent out of shape my nigga let me ask you this

I stab you with this mic and rap this verse I'm rappin' to you  
Matter fact I'm rapping through you never say my motherfucking name  
Unless you absolutely have to I am not no fucking jacket  
With no matching shoes and you are not no fashion guru  
Can't even see you niggas, y'all wish I was rappin' to you  
Matter of fact act like I'm rappin' to you if that gives you passion  
To use this an excuse then just jump up out of conclusion  
That I'm attackin you dudes is just like old fashion voodoo  
Y'all ain't even the shit,no y'all ain't even the doodoo  
I got more flavor on the tissue paper under my two boots  
So I'm slapping you fools with wooden paddles you stupid  
Baby sitting little bastards like little afternoon children  
You can call me psychotic but it's more like schizophrenic  
And I can speak can anyone tell me just where my medicine is  
Guess I gotta show these minors just what my avenue is  
Man I swear I'm all about my brain like graduate students  
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings  
I see your tears, come here, give me your face, let me clear it  
But I wonder how it would look if I could peel it back with a skilliet  
Then I'mma feel it crack when I hit it,then I'mma spill it back when you heal it  
Dammit Bobby boy, what in the hell, what in the heaven, what in the Earth  
Where is your mom? Why do you curse? Where are you from?  
Where was your birth? Where was you first? Why weren't you in church?  
Why is there dirt, all on your shirt? Man I think that you're going berserk..

When I'm done singing, I look down and see my masterpiece, there's blood everywhere, and I'm really thirsty. So I take a cup off the table behind the workbench, scoop up some blood, & quench my thirst.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: I won't give this character a name for a while, nor will I tell you his race, (as in pegasi, unicorn, or earth pony.)**

I wake up feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to go to practice. I stretch my wings and head out to Volume's house. When I get there, I can already hear him, bashing on the drums, and Echo shredding the bass guitar, practicing their parts for the gig tonight.

"Hey Volume, how you doing today?"I asked him. (Echo doesn't talk, almost ever.)

"I'm doing great." He replied. "How is you being today?" saying it in that weird broken English way that he knows pisses me off.

"Shut the hell up Volume, we both know that pisses me off. And we both also know that I can kick your ass." I remind him.

"Keep telling yourself that," he shouts back, for no real reason at all.

"Are we gonna practice, or just talk like teenage girls at a slumber party?" I ask.

I pick up the guitar, and the microphone, and he gets the drums ready, Echo patiently waiting, and we start.

**WWWWWWWWWWW**

**3 hours later**

"Great practice you guys, I'll see you tonight at the show." I yell into Volume's face, knowing he can't hear me, because of the 2000 bit headphones he had on, hell they probably heard those things in canterlot.

"See ya there Echo." I tell him

He simply nods back.

I head towards the bar where we are playing, thinking that if I set up now, I won't have to later. When I notice somepony tailing me. He seems like he's more or less just watching me, almost like he wants to see what I do next. He still thinks I haven't spotted him, but soon enough he'll know to never, ever, follow me, the most fearsome, ruthless, deadly, being in all of equestria.

I see the road forks so I take the left path, to see if he follows, of course he does. I take the first turn off I see, a small dirt path turning off to a dead end. I know this but he most likely doesn't, judging from the style of his clothing, the way his mane is so perfectly combed, and the fact he has a monocle, I assume he's from canterlot. As I turn off, I quickly leap to a nearby tree so I can wait for this unknown stalker to turn the corner.

He turns the corner and, to his surprise, I'm nowhere to be seen. He's visibly confused. Wondering where it is, I could have possibly gone, then he has a sudden realization, remembering my wings, he looks up, surprisingly fast for what I assume his age is.

I seize the moment; I leap forward, straight upon the unwanted tag-along.

"Who are you?" I ask the stranger.

The pony, now scared for his life, is visibly shaken, squeaks out, "I-I'm merely a messenger, sent to give you this."

As he says this he reaches back, knowing that he could have anything in his pockets, I restrain him.

"Reaching for a weapon?" I inquire.

"N-No! I know that you'd k-k-kill me before I even had it fully drawn." He informs me.

He pulls out a small parchment, with my name upon it, along with the words, "FOR YOUR EYES ONLY"

"What's your name? I ask.

"Speedy Delivery, why do you ask?" he says very scared.

"I like to know the names of my victims before they become unable to inform me of such a thing."

He looks at me for a moment confused, and then the realization of the matter at hand was visibly seen on his face. "No no, you can't do this! I have a wife and ki-"

"CRACK!"

His words were cut short by my hooves upon his neck, snapping it swiftly, and painless. Not how I normally would kill, but, I was getting tired of his whining.

I stuffed the letter into my saddlebag, and I was off.

When I got to the bar where we were playing at, I was surprised to see Volume had already set up the stage for us.

"Hey assface, where you been?" volume yells at me from across the bar.

"oh, I don't know, riding dragons." I reply sarcastically.

"Who cares now, get over here we're almost up." He informs me.

I rush on stage, grab the mic, and we start.

I don't know dude...  
I think everyone's all jealous and shit cause I'm like the lead singer of a band dude...  
And I think everyone's got a fucking problem with me dude...  
And they need to take it up with me after the show...  
Because...

These chicks don't even know the name of my band...  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...  
Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man...  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...

So I get off stage right and drop the mic  
Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like  
"Sup ladies, my name's Slim Shady.  
I'm the lead singer in D12 baby"  
They're all like "Oh my god it's him"  
"Becky oh my fuckin' god it's Eminem"  
"I swear to fucking god dude you fucking rock"  
"Please Marshall please Marshall let me suck your cock"  
And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous  
Especially when I drop the beat and do my acapellas  
All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes  
Throw their bras and their shirt and their panties on stage  
So like every single night they pick a fight with me  
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry  
Cause they're back on stage the next night with me  
Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me  
Yesterday Kuniva tried to pull a knife on me  
Cause I told him Jessica Alba's my wife to be  
This rock star shit, it's the life for me  
And all the other guys just despise me because

These chicks don't even know the name of my band...  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...  
Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man...  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...  
My band _[x9]_

You just wanna see a nigga backwards don't you  
Hey dad how come we don't rap on Protools  
Smash these vocals and do a performance  
But we in the van and he in a tour bus  
You don't want my autograph, yous a liar  
And no I'm Swift (oh I thought you were Kuniva)  
What the hell is wrong with that dressing room  
Cause my shit is looking smaller than a decimal  
See I know how to rap, see it's simple but  
All I did was read a Russell Simmons book  
So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map  
Doin' jumping jacks whilin' get whipped on my back

Look at Em little punk ass thinkin' he the shit  
Yeah I know man find himself taking on a flick  
Hey I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue  
(_[Em:]_ No I had an interview not you two)  
You gonna be late for soundcheck  
Man I ain't goin' to soundcheck  
But our mics are screwed up and his always sound best  
You know what man I'ma say something  
Hey yo Em  
(_[Em:]_ You got something to say?!)  
Man no  
I thought you bout to tell him off, what's up  
Man I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up  
And you ain't even back me up when we supposed to be crew  
When I was bout to talk right after you  
I swear, I swear man

These chicks don't even know the name of my band...  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...  
Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man...  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...

They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not  
Once we sold out arenas to the amusement park  
I'm gonna let the world know that proof is hot  
I should cut his mic off when the musics starts  
Ready to snap on a dumb ass fan  
Every time i hear (Hey dude I love your band)  
We ain't a band bitch we don't play instruments  
So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent  
And these guys they can find every area code  
(_[Em:]_ Proof carry my bag)  
Bitch carry your own  
Can't make it to the stage, security in my way  
(Who the fuck are you? Where's Obie and Dre?!)

Goddammit I'm sick of this group  
Time for me to go solo and make some loot  
I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps  
Till Kon Artist slipped me some crack  
Lose Yourself video I was in the back  
Superman video I was in the back  
Fuck the media, I got some suggestions  
Fuck Marshall, ask us the questions  
Like who's D12, how we get started  
(But what about Eminem?)  
Bitch are you retarded?  
Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group  
Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute (hey sexy)  
50 told me to do situps to get buff  
I did two and a half and then I couldn't get up  
Fuck D12, I'm outta this band  
I'm gonna start a group with the real Roxanne

Girl why cant you see your the only one for me  
and it just tears my ass apart to know that you don't know my name...  
_[Chorus - Bizarre]_  
These chicks don't even know the name of my band...(ha ha)  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...(Fuck Marshall)  
Cause once I blow I know that I'll be the man...  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...  
My Band _[6x]_  
Roxanne  
Shatan  
Loves me

The hottest boy band in the world...  
D12!

I'm the lead singer of my band, I get all the girl's to take off their underpants  
And the lead singer of my band, my salsa  
Makes all the pretty girl's wan to dance  
My salsa, look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa...  
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa  
My salsa makes all the pretty girls wan to dance  
And take off their underpants  
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance  
And take off their underpants, my salsa  
(Where'd everybody go?)

I look out and see a sea of faces, all staring at me. Then one of them starts to clap, then another, pretty soon the entire bar is shaking with all the stomping and shouting, it's like a madhouse.

**thats chapter 2 for you guys. Don't forget to R&R see you next time.**


End file.
